Looking for ways to cut down on that electric bill? Look no further than your child’s hamster cage and that annoying, squeaky wheel it’s so fond of. With a few minor modifications, and a hundred more hamsters and wheels, and you can kiss the grid goodbye forever. As an added bonus, hamsters seem to breed spontaneously so, as long as you have a good supply of food and water, you will be able to maintain a healthy, hard-working colony with little effort or cost. As for the rural homeowner, the common dairy cow could not only be a source of milk but of fuel for the family car. Cows are fond of eating large quantities of hay and grass, which they are more than happy to naturally convert to methane gas, as is quite evident if you’ve ever visited a farm. Some minor conversion to the milking parlor equipment, as well as to the vehicles, and you have a ready supply of very potent fuel. Dogs, and to a lesser extent, cats can be a viable substitute for that electric blankets that sucks up electricity. In fact, in ancient China, dogs were utilized frequently to keep master, mistress, and children warm during cold winter nights. The severity of the temperature was gauged by how many dogs were needed to keep the sleeper comfortable. A fairly frigid night, therefore, was commonly referred to as a Three Dog Night. If you’ve read this far, and still think this is for real, then all I have to say is Happy April Fool’s Day!